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1. |
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2. |
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NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS
all rise
to the sight of your only sun
not the one that you've been taking for granted
but the one that brought the light into the room
one light
both sides
all along
one big light and all the others you left on
draining the dark
then draining into dark.
hard on you
and it’s hard on your family too
only children
standing silence
shopping for nothing
milling about
distant cousins
miles apart
single mother
standing under your understanding brother
no horizons
freedoms frozen
yet somehow the same path gets chosen
inmates complain while minds combine
since split
abandoned companion
just couldn't commit
fits like shit
but no one's there to fix it
who tied you to it?
such conditions
this disposition
ten thousand arms and no ammunition
reaching for relief
hard on you
yes, hard on your family now too
better together
better because of you
better than when we met
even better than we both knew
but then you moved
so we moved too
and no one pushes through like you used to
this is a circus
these are your monkeys too
crying sirens
always ambulating through
holding you
not holding you down
with the love we’re no longer seeing
blinding
such social eyes
at the rise of your only son
not the one that’s come undone
lost it’s light
shaking from the trees
setting free
set free
this scenery
it doesn’t change with you here next to me
buzz words like community
this family no longer needs to learn to be
it needs to learn to see
this is a circus
these are your monkeys too
crying sirens
always ambulating through
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3. |
Dear Downer
06:19
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DEAR DOWNER
dear, downer
don’t speak up tonight
about the stars in a line that were hidden behind
or the rising crowns that got you down
unreal
now out of sight
seems to me you’re still pleased to be
finding grace but just too late
upstanding
yet out of hand
still not so good at the good for now
a second guest makes a nervous host
the beloved crying “uncle!”
tastes the chip off their shoulder
each sip getting colder
cross talking your own family
slipping on your lip
repeating and now seeing
double downers
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POSTCARDS FROM HOSPITAL BEDS
strange ceremonies
in keeping the design
these postcards from hospital beds
we’ll carry to your shrine
insipid kicks
insidious drips
and then quitting anytime
but who tied it to you and you to it?
don’t you ever get sick, kid
fussy eater – what will you feed her?
just let him go here next to the parking meters
now in critical care so we’re putting you there
where you’ll show us all the love you shared
such conditions
this disposition
ten thousand arms
and no ammunition
these strange ceremonies
in keeping the design
with postcards from hospital beds
we’ll carry to your shrine
saying “seize the day in the saddest factory”
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5. |
Wind Up Flying Away
05:54
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WIND UP FLYING AWAY
careful of such certainty
when sudden crashes take you away from me
my dear, my doll
don’t fear the fall
these close calls and lucky breaks
only ask how much will you give
and how long will it take
before you wind up flying away from here
your hand on the back of an angel set for flight
whose intentions have fallen like animals waiting in the candlelight
such a shame but can’t be blamed
she’s been stuck inside these old picture frames
praying just to wind up flying away from here
these waves won’t wash this story clean
tiny island massacres are now growing inside the machine
what you gave as a gift to someone so full of fear
who then started a war by simply turning a mirror
causing us to wind up flying away from here
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6. |
In The Dollhouse
07:44
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IN THE DOLLHOUSE
abundance at ease
where we came and went as we pleased
and the comfort of your company
was found listening
a perfect working heart
with lungs that function in the dark
each floor a new ceiling
a gallery of doors revealing
that a house is not a home
when you're in it on your own
so I'll climb the stairs with you
you and I are back inside
scratching free from these
carpets they've been keeping alive
making the room
where good grief won't get the best of you
because the dogs are outside
and they'll be coming in soon
so be patient my love
and sleep through the night
in the morning you'll wake
and enter the light
and warm these frozen bones
and you will know
that you are not alone
chatter above
hearing every word
as laughter scatters below
every cry that felt unheard
learning what can't be swayed is never done
where we became what we've become
this scenery
it doesn't change even without you beside me
a memory
when loves leaves so frequently
this family still feels the need to be
but I see that what you need
are words that will last for now
I know that when you go
I'll still be here in the dollhouse
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7. |
Dreamt
08:24
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DREAMT
seeing feelings
a new reason for dreaming
teaching me something
showing you help
plans passing from hand to hands
believing that leaving is owning and leading
now needing meetings
head down
it’s lighting your face
we can all see you’re drifting away
I dreamt I was you
dreamt I knew just how you moved
as we tapped on the glass and watched as they passed
I saw what was lost on you
it was lost on me too
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8. |
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